Sarangi
by katachresis
Summary: XEra songfic: Character study of Seishirou and his emotions for Subaru :: Yaoi implications :: Slightly revised 03.14.02


Fic updated 03.14.02... some passages added to, description added and such, plus I realized that the html had posted wrong, so I changed that. Warnings: Yaoi implications... TB End Spoilers (duh) Credit: The song used is Sarangi by Hooverphonic. (This band is awsome. Download it.) Many quotes are from the TB manga itself and are supposed to serve as a sort of flashback device.

Legend:  
_thoughts_  
" quotes "  
o/~ music o/~

.: Sarangi :: Katalyst :: Sakurazuka Seishirou :: POV Songfic :.

The music woke him. A low, grinding beat serving as a counterpoint to the distant noise of the traffic.  
_I don't remember this station... _  
He didn't know why he even used an alarm clock. He was perfectly capable of setting an internal alarm. He sat up and slid out of bed quickly, going to stand at the window as he took down a few of his magical defenses.  
Tokyo was just being washed with the light of false dawn, but already there were signs of life on the street below; salarymen rushed past the brightly-dressed teenagers and college students loitered here and there, skipping school no doubt. He closed his eyes and reached out for that familiar, almost reassuring presence.  
_Good morning, Subaru. _

o/~ Suffocate your love  
In a barrel full of doubt  
Suffocate your love  
North east and south o/~

_Silly Subaru-kun. Still not sleeping, eh? _  
He smiled knowingly. Subaru never changed. He drove himself relentlessly and refused take time to recuperate.  
"If you work this hard and something happens to you, Hokuto-chan will cry."  
_But not even Hokuto can keep you from hurting yourself Subaru. Not now. Not ever again. _  
"I'm not a kind person like Subaru-kun."  
_I've never been a kind person. You were shrewd enough to have some doubts about me. But you never really understood what I was capable of, did you? After all... you were the one who pushed him to me, weren't you?_  
"You keep changing the subject!"  
Seishirou opened his eyes. Absently he contemplated having a cigarette as he stared down into the city traffic. The streets were more crowded now, and sounds of life swelled. The heavy sounds of gothic rock and rap blasted from boomboxes intermixed with squeals of laughter and tiny glittering pastel cellphones reverberated down the sidewalks as they filled with people going about their normal lives. He stared down from his window, enthralled yet removed from it all.  
"What does normal mean anyway?"

o/~ Here I stand  
In front of your imagination  
Here I stand o/~ 

"Subaru-kun, just what do you think normal is?"  
_Normal people..._  
"They don't waste their lives with delusions and fantasies"  
_Do you still dream about me? Even now? Do you still wonder why? Or have you figured out that I did everything... just because I could._ Seishirou shook his head, chuckling to himself.  
_No. You're too kind for that, aren't you? How much have you really changed Subaru? Even after I broke you, you still loved me, didn't you? You probably still do._  
"I'm a man and you're a boy, Subaru... It's... it's just happened that the person I've fallen in love with is a boy, but..."  
_So easily influenced by such words. Far too trusting, my innocent Subaru-kun. _

o/~ Hesitate, It's normal  
You can't erase mistakes  
Hesitate, It's normal  
I can't keep awake o/~ 

"Let's make a bet..."  
_How many restless nights have you spent dreaming of the past? Agonizing over what never could have been? How much useless emotion did I stir up inside of you? How many hot tears did you cry over me?_  
"If you make Subaru-kun cry... I'll kill you!"  
Seishirou leaned against the window-frame, running a hand through his hair.  
_Hokuto-chan... I never believed you were capable of it. Oh, I knew you were vicious enough, but I never could imagine that you were capable of defeating me in such a way._

o/~ Here I stand  
In front of your imagination  
Here I stand o/~ 

"That time at Ikebukuro wasn't our first meeting"  
_You remembered that too late Subaru-kun. Of course, I made sure of that. In all our time together, you only surprised me once._  
"But don't the people under the sakura suffer?"  
_Why do you never think of yourself? No matter what is happening you always put everyone before yourself. Stupidity like that will get you killed._  
"I'm sorry..."  
_You can't do everything for everyone Subaru. You just don't think. _  
"I just wish that I could have done more"  
_There was nothing to be done. You lost that bet the moment it was made. All I was doing... was putting off the inevitable. Every moment since that day was borrowed time for you. I thought..._

o/~ Come closer  
It's you I want to embrace  
Come much closer   
It's you I want to debase o/~ 

_You're still beautiful Subaru. But I don't love you. I can't love... _  
"No matter how you put it, you're a pervert Sei-chan!"  
_...I want you. I want what's mine. Subaru-kun._  
"Stop kidding around Seishirou-san!"  
_Are you ready to see me again? Do you want to see me? To kill me?_  
"...since you've hurt my Subaru-kun, I'll never forgive you!"  
His hand gripped the windowsill tightly.  
_I wonder if you've forgotten what those marks on your hands really mean. You are my prey. Mine._  
"Your bet with me... isn't over yet Subaru-kun!"  
_Your bet with me will never be over Subaru._

o/~ Here I stand  
In front of your imagination  
Here I stand o/~ 

_Never... Not even after I die._


End file.
